My Life in Boxes

I have this theory about how to live my life: I live it in boxes.

When asked what's the most important aspect of my life, I honestly don't know what to say. I guess it's because I treat every aspect of my life equally. In my box theory, I live my life in different boxes. You may have heard about it already, but I can't recall (or think of) the better term. Basically, there's boxes for everything: a box for studies (which is closed -- for now), a box for family, a box for friends, a box for a relationship, a box for work, and a box for goals. I do this so that if one aspect of my life fails, my life wouldn't collapse because there are other boxes that'll keep me up.

Each box may have sub-boxes; a good example is my box of friends, where there are separate boxes for high school friends, college friends, work friends, etc. Some box may be bigger and more meaningful than the others, but each one is important in its own way.

Recently, one box of my life collapsed. It's a big, meaningful box of my life. Honestly, it still hurts. I still cry myself to sleep every night. But in the mornings at work, I'm focused. In lunch breaks with officemates, I joke along with them. In nights out with friends, I laugh along with them. But when I sit alone in my quiet room, the pain floods back. So I pull out my laptop and blog.

You may call it simply diverting my attention, but I think that's the approach to materializing my theory.

This blog post may seem pointless, but I just want to say this: this is my approach to my problems. I portray a strong, well-collected image on the outside, but my emotions are screaming on the inside. I may seem to have a well-planned and perfect life, but I, myself, believe that perfection doesn't exist. It's just a state which continues to change its meaning. I have never been and never will be perfect. I commit mistakes, make bad decisions, and say the wrong words. But I still love myself for who I am.

My box theory helps me space out the negative thoughts surrounding me and to focus on the important things. Now when one of the important things fail, there's still more to focus on.

When asked what's the most important aspect of my life, I honestly don't know what to say. But maybe the safe answer is love. Love, that ignites passion for my work, career, and dreams. Love, from the people around me that keeps me standing tall. Love, that completes me.