My Life in Boxes

I have this theory about how to live my life: I live it in boxes.

When asked what's the most important aspect of my life, I honestly don't know what to say. I guess it's because I treat every aspect of my life equally. In my box theory, I live my life in different boxes. You may have heard about it already, but I can't recall (or think of) the better term. Basically, there's boxes for everything: a box for studies (which is closed -- for now), a box for family, a box for friends, a box for a relationship, a box for work, and a box for goals. I do this so that if one aspect of my life fails, my life wouldn't collapse because there are other boxes that'll keep me up.

Each box may have sub-boxes; a good example is my box of friends, where there are separate boxes for high school friends, college friends, work friends, etc. Some box may be bigger and more meaningful than the others, but each one is important in its own way.

Recently, one box of my life collapsed. It's a big, meaningful box of my life. Honestly, it still hurts. I still cry myself to sleep every night. But in the mornings at work, I'm focused. In lunch breaks with officemates, I joke along with them. In nights out with friends, I laugh along with them. But when I sit alone in my quiet room, the pain floods back. So I pull out my laptop and blog.

You may call it simply diverting my attention, but I think that's the approach to materializing my theory.

This blog post may seem pointless, but I just want to say this: this is my approach to my problems. I portray a strong, well-collected image on the outside, but my emotions are screaming on the inside. I may seem to have a well-planned and perfect life, but I, myself, believe that perfection doesn't exist. It's just a state which continues to change its meaning. I have never been and never will be perfect. I commit mistakes, make bad decisions, and say the wrong words. But I still love myself for who I am.

My box theory helps me space out the negative thoughts surrounding me and to focus on the important things. Now when one of the important things fail, there's still more to focus on.

When asked what's the most important aspect of my life, I honestly don't know what to say. But maybe the safe answer is love. Love, that ignites passion for my work, career, and dreams. Love, from the people around me that keeps me standing tall. Love, that completes me.

Weekend Sepanx

I haven't blogged in a year! Thanks to Zoe's and Aspyn's blogs, I have been inspired to start posting on my little space in the internet again. :) I don't have hundred thousands of followers like they do, but it just feels nice to have an online diary.

Anywho;

This weekend, my parents are out of town. I am happy because (1) they get to spend time with just each other and forget about work for a while, and (2) I get a bit more freedom than I usually do!

Weekends have been more special for me because I started working a month ago. That two-day break feels more special now that I work 5 days a week. Although I don't despise Mondays because I guess I'm still excited with my new job, this weekend is different.

The start of my unique weekend!

On Friday night, I slept at someone else's house. We woke up very early because we had to pick up Tita Lira at the airport. I absolutely missed her! It has been 6 long months. That afternoon, we went to the mall to buy her a new phone and to dine out. I went home that night as promised to my parents.

The next day was something absolutely different for me. I went to church with someone else aside from family. My mom's views are very traditional: this includes declaring Sunday as family day. But since they aren't around, I decided to spend it at someone else's house instead of staying home alone (which happens quite frequently anyway).

Before going home, I'm having separation anxiety (that's what Sepanx mean, in case you didn't know) with this weekend. It's very different because I felt more independent for two days. Don't get me wrong, I miss my parents. But just being outside without worrying that your mom is already waiting for you with a well-prepared sermon feels nice.

Oh well. Tomorrow is another day. My parents are still on vacation for a few more days, but it feels different now because my mom left some office work for me to handle for her (which still feels nice because it means she trusts me), and my dad won't be around to bring and to pick me up from work (yes, he's sweet that way).

On the flip side, looking forward to a jam packed week ahead! This week, I have lots of social gatherings scheduled. Another milestone for an introvert like me who prefers spending time alone, eh? ;)

☀